The Father
Good fathers want to keep their children safe. They teach their kiddos about external threats and internal compromises leading to disaster. In the seventh Proverb, Solomon speaks to his son about the costs hidden within sexual temptation. He illustrates the danger through a temptress and a simpleton.
“My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and to insight, “You are my relative.” They will keep you from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words. At the window of my house I looked down through the lattice. I saw among the simple, I noticed among the young men, a youth who had no sense. He was going down the street near her corner, walking along in the direction of her house at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in.” (Proverbs 7:1-9 NIV)
This father is convinced that a close relationship with wisdom can keep his son from the lies of the forbidden woman. This is true for every kind of temptation. God’s wisdom reveals His expectations and preferences, instructing us about the choices that will cost us or bless us.
Modern military units train in Shoot Houses to simulate hostile environments. They move room by room in teams, learning to react quickly and safely, targeting foes, and rescuing civilians. The stories of the Bible serve as training scenarios. We can enter the narratives to watch and learn from heroes and fools. Solomon’s graphic scenario helps his son—and us—move through life safely; quickly identifying the adulteress as “foe” before she even launches into her tempting speech.
Solomon compels us with words of action— to keep, to guard, to bind, to write, and to say (7:1-3). Practicing these looks like discipline, devotion, and scheduled habits of Bible interaction. Our Father defines where we should and should not play. He wants us to avoid the traps. He is a good and attentive and protective Father.
God invites us to know and to keep His Word so that we may live (7:2). His wisdom paths lead to life and joy and contentment and satisfaction. Love the scriptures! Marinate in them; hide them in your heart. Solomon pleads with his children to cling to wisdom because has seen (7:7) what happens to those who do not.
The Floozy
“Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is unruly and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: ‘Today I fulfilled my vows, and I have food from my fellowship offering at home. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. He took his purse filled with money and will not be home till full moon.’” (Proverbs 7:10-20 NIV)
Crime dramas and podcasts tell the story of predators snatching children from parks or playgrounds—luring them with teddy bears, candy, and lies. Narrators describe how evil people coax the innocent into vehicles, carrying their victims to horrific mistreatment and sometimes even death. As much as the thought of a tender six-year-old ensnared to her death triggers nausea and rage, the woman and the young man in this proverb should provoke similar reactions. The temptress set a trap disguised by perfume. She is not absentmindedly flirting. She is on the hunt.
Solomon’s forbidden woman is not a prostitute; she’s just dressed like one. She is not a professional; she is a woman in your neighborhood. She is a woman at your office. She is a woman in your church. She is forbidden because she is someone else’s wife.
Perhaps her husband is away at work too often. Perhaps she genuinely suffers neglect from attention, praise, touch, or the comfort of a man’s strong arms. She stalks a willing party because she is thirsty to hear that she is beautiful and desirable. She is thirsty for companionship. She is thirsty for the peace and comfort and value extended through a lover’s gaze.
While her thirst is sad and preventable, her solution is evil. Her actions ignore God, defile her body, betray her husband, and pull a young man into sin. Inner thirst, even loneliness, can drive us into wrecked relationships, with serious injuries and permanent scars.
The woman in Solomon’s cautionary tale is determined and brash; she is loud and aggressive. Before she says anything to the young man, before she explains how easily he could have her, she grabs him and kisses him.
She literally gives him a taste of what could be his—and he is hooked. A biological reaction begins, overriding reason and judgment. The adulteress knows what she is doing. Her kiss triggers nerves and chemicals, awakening a desire that demands satisfaction. Pornography does the same thing. Flirtatious touching does this. The wayward woman would give a speech, but she did not need it. He was caught. The hunt was over. Take note: It is never “just a kiss.”
Smooth words promise that their time in bed could remain hidden; her husband would not find out. No matter how “free” temptation appears, it always includes a cost. The argument that, “No one will ever know,” is a lie. God knows. And so does our conscience, made in His image. Think of Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart or the haunting guilt in Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment.
Even if you are neglected, seeking fulfillment outside of your marriage is wrong. When reaching for one who is not your spouse, new problems, greater than the original loneliness, come into play. You sin against God, betray your spouse, and damage your marriage. Atop this heap of sin, you also become a stumbling block to a fellow child of God. “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come!” (Luke 17:1 NIV)
Husband, love your wife! Wife, love your husband! Be careful to meet their reasonable needs. Cover them so well that they never leave home in a state of thirst. Talk to your spouse before the flesh talks you into quenching your thirst somewhere else.
Put down your phones, click off the TV, and ask your spouse if their needs are fulfilled. Then listen—don’t defend or offer excuses. Yes, these conversations include awkwardness, but they are easier than handling the fallout from betrayal, easier than consulting divorce lawyers. Greater still, there is the potential that a conversation could cause a withered heart to bloom, potential for renewed joy and intimacy to fill your home.
The Fool
“With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.” (Proverbs 7:21-27 NIV)
Solomon paints the picture of a man wandering down a path of destruction. He is young and lacking sense (7:7). The wise man never allows close conversation in shadowy places. The wise alcoholic avoids the local bar—never walking through the door—choosing to avoid the fight, instead of counting on discipline to order Dr. Pepper instead of Scotch. He knows better.
Many people—both men and women—get into trouble because they believe themselves strong enough to maintain control. Perhaps this fool believed he could just look and flirt, then she kissed him, and he was pierced.
Solomon begs his son to listen. He knows the stakes. If the fool’s sin remains secret, he might return to her bed. If the sin gives comfort, he might become deluded, believing this is a good path for taking care of his own needs.
Our fool could claim false innocence, “It was all her idea! I was just walking along, or just scrolling, minding my own business.” But he was walking—or scrolling—where it was not safe. And adulterous fruit is forbidden even it is willing, even if she is eager. We are responsible for our choices.
What physical or digital places do you frequent, where trouble lurks in the shadows?
A beautiful woman radiating sensuality, spouting flattery and a lusty invitation, is a powerful force. If biology takes over, it’s game over. The wise man sees a willing woman on his screen or on his path and clicks away, crossing to the other side of the street instead of trusting himself to say “No” to a tempting offer.
Fools take a chance on winning or losing. Wise people avoid the fight.
If an encounter with temptation is unavoidable, assume a combat posture. Her words might be smooth but hold your resolve at a sharpened edge. This is not a moment for polite banter. She is luring you to the grave (7:27). Her tender talk disguises lethal talons. The moment calls for a few firm words, then run away.
Solomon speaks in pleading tones to keep his boy from the arrow or snare. He speaks plainly. He does not hint or skirt the issue. He wants his son to be right with his wife, but also right with God. Solomon understands that the root crime in adultery is thievery; someone taking what belongs to another. Perhaps he is thinking about his own parentage—David taking Bathsheba.
In love, Solomon points to a path of wisdom, the difference between life and death. Any man can be tempted and lured and trapped and devoured. Only the fool believes himself impervious.
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